I think part of the reason I don’t write as much as I used to is because I am fearful. When I was young, I had no fears, I was capable of anything, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been so crippled by the fear that my writing may actually be good…It may actually help someone. There are other things that make me fearful about my writing, but my fear has prevented me from being successful with my writing. My fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things, but I realized that this fear has cost me too much, and I’ve begun doing things to actively self-sabotage in the past year.
I may have a publisher interested in publishing one of my novels, and I plan on self-publishing other stories of mine; in addition to all this, I’m submitting to a small press a volume of poetry I have put together. However, because of my self-sabotaging and my fear, I haven’t had as much success writing as I did before I had any fears. In the past, I just wrote for the sheer enjoyment of it, and I need to get back to that, and I need to stop letting my fear get the best of me.
I am so tired of my own acts of defeating myself, and in 2016, I refuse to allow that to keep happening. I’m going to write more. I’m going to do the best I can to finish my novel, my stories, and my poetry book. I think things are going to be different this year.